York University put me on the honour roll, how quaint
I'm a basket case at the top of my psychology class
And I've got a nervous laugh
Can't keep a straight face at the therapist's office
But it's not so fucking funny to feel like I do
I've fallen in love
It's fucking emotional
I regret my whole life and every bad decision that's made me unfit for her
Doctor said she represents meaning and purpose in my life and I agree
Obsessive love sickness has got me re-evaluating my existence
I'm intellectualizing pink film instead of going on porn binges cause I've got to be a better man for her

If only you could feel what I feel
If only you could see all the good deeds I've done in secret
Catch me in the act of kindness and maybe you would change your mind

I'm desperate to make you believe I'm a good person but it's not fucking working
And so you dismissed me like a friend
How I'd love to be young and out of touch
Doing things to keep me elated and not dead inside
Listening to my favourite vaporwave deep cuts to pass the time on the bus ride
I don't feel at all like myself today cause I'm a new man!
Bleached my hair for the first time at thirty years old
Pre-emptive mid-life crisis, fuck off
It doesn't sound so enticing not to be a fucking rock star
It doesn't sound so enticing not to write the best fucking songs and not to thank you in the liner notes
So I'm doing it anyway, thanks for breaking my fucking heart